In the last couple of blogs, I have had the distinct privilege of exploring and explaining the Core Values of Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services.  In this update, we’re focused on our third Core Value – “We Serve with Compassion.”

We Serve with Compassion

Compassion is itself, a very over-used word – particularly in the Funeral Home and Cemetery industries. We all agree that we should be compassionate.  We all agree that compassion is a great attribute.  But carrying out this core value involves a lot more than a cursory acceptance of those ideas. Compassion wells up from the heart of a person who is truly passionate about serving people and about building relationships.  When you realize that few other things in life are as important as the bonds we make or break with other human beings, then you have a start on true compassion.  

Compassion is measured in the toughest of moments, when we encounter those times, places, and people that test the limit of who we are and what our humility will allow us to endure.  Grieving people experience and express grief in different ways.  Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s accepted stages of grief include Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.  While we don’t have the time to flesh out each stage, it’s safe to say that a person struggling with any one of these stages, other than Acceptance, could test our ability to show Compassion.  A person in Denial can be resistant to any heartfelt concern, struggling to accept the truth of a loss. Anger makes a grieving person especially challenging to help. Bargaining sometimes causes a grieving person to turn inward with blame, making it difficult to form a connection. Depression builds walls that shut out help and concern.

And so, when we consider the core value of being compassionate, we realize that compassion goes well beyond an emotion or intention.  Being compassionate means persistently seeking opportunities to help, to care, and to show concern, even in the face of rejection, frustration, and distancing behavior.  I’m certainly not a Psychiatric professional, but my experience as a Funeral Director, and the wisdom of our many experienced team members, tells me that the ability to be compassionate comes from the design of your heart.  The rightness of being compassionate persists, regardless of the strain of the situation.  And in the end, Serving with Compassion, is worth the expense, the stress, and the sacrifice.

Justin Baxley, President
Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services

In our last Blog, we introduced the four Core Values of Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services. Though they are posted in all of our locations, our staff will tell you it’s not uncommon to hear me say, “Our Core Values are not just words on a wall.” I believe that. In your own life, organization, or business, remember that these Values must be instilled, a part of the culture. Our Values, drafted by a committee of our staff members several years ago, resemble that. Speaker/Author Thomas Winninger says that if you ask 10 people in your organization what is most important and get 10 different answers, then you don’t have a “culture” at all. Our Core Values serve as the guiding principles that keep our level of service and attention to detail constant and consistent, while the actual services and ceremonies we provide adapt to the needs of client-families.

- We Value Life
- We Earn Trust
- We Serve with Compassion
- Every Life is Honored with Excellence

We Earn Trust
Earning Trust in the business of Celebrating Life, Caring for the Deceased, and Advance-Planning of Final Arrangements is not so different from any other situation in that garnering the Trust of others takes years to accomplish and seconds to destroy. However, in the operation of Funeral Homes and Cemeteries, much of what we do is unknown to the public. The families we serve want to know that we will provide compassionate care and that we have their best interests at heart.

For these reasons, We Earn Trust. Practically, for our staff of caring professionals, this means that details matter and that Trust is earned in those moments that seem insignificant, when no one may be watching. Many firms in our industry contract details such as the Transfer of the Deceased into the Funeral Home’s care to sub-contractors; WE DON’T. Actually, we can’t, because our Core Values don’t allow it. How can we Earn Trust when someone we may not even know is carrying out one of the most sacred services we provide to families?

Earning Trust also means that when we make a mistake, we own up to it – promptly and directly. It seems like common sense, really, but it’s amazing how many people, businesses, and organizations find themselves in hot water by trying to “cover up” rather than “owning up”. For our staff, this means if we make a mistake on an obituary, or flowers fail to be delivered timely, or any number of potential human errors, we admit it, correct it, and retool the procedure, if necessary.

This Core Value is why families come to us “When Trust Matters Most”sm. Honesty and integrity are part of our DNA. Doing the right thing by our families and each other is a non-negotiable. And we truly believe that for 125 years, the families we serve have appreciated the difference that makes.

Justin Baxley, President
Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services

What does it mean to have Core Values?  I suppose, for an individual, it means knowing what’s most important to you and being unwilling to negotiate on those beliefs.  For a company, it means that as our industry changes and the needs of our client-families shift, we do too – but guided by the principles of our Core Values.  Who we are stays the same, while what we do matches the needs of those we serve.

            At Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services, we have four distinct Core Values.  Over the next few Blogs, I’m going to take a few minutes and sort of flesh-out what they mean to our team and how they guide our actions and decisions on a daily basis. Our four Core Values are:

            – We Value Life

            – We Earn Trust

            – We Serve with Compassion

            – Every Life is Honored with Excellence

We Value Life

            For us, valuing life goes deeper than a political or social ideology.  It’s more basic, really.  “We Value Life” means that foundational to our ability to serve our client-families and work well with our co-team members is a belief that people have inherent value.  If every person has value, than every Life, every story, every human-experience has value. If you scroll back a couple of Blogs, you can read about what it means to Personalize service.  We feel that it’s impossible to create meaningful, unique, and memorable Funeral Ceremony experiences or design a personal, lasting memorial within a cemetery, if we don’t value life. This value means that we HAVE to be creative in giving families options to celebrate a loved-one’s life in ways they may have never considered before and that we HAVE to be diligent in showing each and every family the best ways to communicate to friends and family what was most important about their loved-one’s life. In order to do that, we must be experts in building relationships with families and asking the questions that help families explore these thoughts and emotions.

            It also means that when we consult with families who are planning for their final arrangements in advance and they say, “just cremate me and scatter my ashes,” we must challenge them to understand that their family and friends need so much more – forgetting does NOT equal healing.  After-all, a Funeral isn’t something that we get, it’s something that we give.

            Internally, at Hiers-Baxley, “We Value Life” means that we support our fellow team-members.  We understand that we serve in a capacity that is fraught with stress and emotion, and that from time-to-time, valuing life means lending a shoulder or a listening ear too those within our own team who are struggling with the demands of our ministry and calling. It means that we must work together, truly as a family, to meet the needs of our client-families in the way that they deserve to be met – individually.

Justin Baxley
President, Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services

Since Biblical times, there have been those who were charged with the sacred duty of caring for the community’s deceased, and for their families. Through time, as the needs and expectations of grieving families have changed, Funeral Homes and Cemeteries have adjusted, striving to continue providing value in compassionate care, celebrating life and providing for disposition. Today, virtually every industry has been affected and enhanced by the capability and assistance of technology. You may be surprised to know that the Funeral and Cemetery industry is no different, and like most changes in our profession, the applications of technological advancement are focused on serving families better.

INTERNET – Did you ever think you would be reading a Blog on a Funeral Home web site? Our site, www.Hiers-Baxley.com, is designed with the client-family and consumer in mind. We use the web to provide information regarding various aspects of Funeral and Cemetery considerations, an admittedly uncomfortable subject for many people, in the privacy of home. In addition, we are able to provide grief and healing tools, such as virtual counseling sessions and daily emails of encouragement throughout the year. On our personal Tribute Walls, family and friends from all over the world are able to light virtual candles, share condolences, memories, photos (including the ability to “Tag” someone in a photo), and even videos. In our Silver Springs Blvd location, we are also able to stream funeral ceremonies live to the Internet in cases where family and friends are unable to travel to the funeral.

PRINTED PRODUCTS – Gone are the days when families must “settle” for a plain, boring memorial card with no option but the 23rd Psalm – their only reprieve the copy counter at Staples. Most modern funeral homes have the ability to create and produce customized printed tributes and bookmarks in various sizes using specialized themes and photos from family members.

TRIBUTE VIDEOS – It has been said, and is true, that “a picture is worth 1000 words.” In today’s funeral service company, video tributes can be created using photos, placed with majestic scenery and peaceful background music. Our in-house production studio is even outfitted with specialized programs to “fix” damaged or discolored photos or to remove someone who is “no longer in the picture.”

CEMETERY – Yes, even the historic, seemingly never-changing cemetery grounds are home to changes brought about by technology. For example, modern casting processes make it possible to place multiple photos into the permanence of Bronze for generations to “read” the story of a life well-lived. These Lasting Memories bronze memorials can even be created in color.
. . . and lastly,

BEHIND THE SCENES – Most people have no idea what goes on behind the “veil of mystery” in the Funeral and Cemetery business. The reality is that within the 3-5 days we typically have to arrange, plan, and execute a meaningful ceremony, there are a myriad of details humming to completion in the background. At all hours of the day and night, Transfer Teams, guided by GPS navigation, make the honored pilgrimage, transporting remains into the Funeral Home’s care. In the arrangement conference, casket and urn selections, as well as important vital statistic information, come together on a 40-inch monitor with the Family seeing and controlling the outcome. Caskets and urns are ordered online from computer-monitored inventories, and the Funeral Home’s management software takes on much of the burden of accuracy in producing the multiple legal documents and permits which accompany every family served. Even in the area of preparation, photos are scanned and emailed from families and placed on color monitors to aid in the giving of a life-like appearance.

Like most industries, technology comes with resistance. The way we’ve always done it is replaced by the ability to provide families with more, better, faster, and more personalized options. But there ARE a few things that haven’t and don’t and won’t change – core concepts unaffected by the waves of technological advancement. A value of Life, earning of Trust, a spirit of Compassion, and a dedication to Excellence – these are attributes of the heart, of dedicated professionals, not of microprocessors. And these continue to be the hallmarks of what we do and who we are.

Justin Baxley, President
Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services

I suppose the first question is this – “What does it mean to personalize?” In a fast-paced world, where mountains of information are available at the push of a button and where we all have a tendency to “want what we want” and “want it now,” it is easy enough for service and merchandise providers to slip into a “one-size-fits-all” response to our demands.  But, those company’s we revere for their service, and those products that really make us feel special are those which have been kept personal – those that are “fit” to us.

For example, if you stay at the Ritz-Carlton, you will no doubt recognize a substantial difference (aside from the elegant atmosphere) from the average motor inn.  You will be amazed at how many people speak to you, using your name.  You would expect that from the Reception Desk, but not necessarily when you call the valet for your car or see your housekeeper in the hallway. Further, if you make an advance reservation, you will receive a question regarding whether you are celebrating a special occasion.  If you are, the “Customer Experience” personnel will make every effort to be sure to recognize your occasion in a unique and memorable way. Behind all of that is a structure and philosophy that allows every staff member the ability to meet your need or solve your concern. That is Personalized service.

Recently, my wife Charity, who participates in Women’s Sprint Triathlons, decided she needed a new Triathlon bicycle.  Like most people, I have purchased bicycles from a big-box store, an average experience including, in some cases, self-assembly.  But, my wife had in mind a specific bicycle from a specific store.  When I went to purchase it, what I experienced was something very unexpected. Questions like – “What kind of shoes does your wife wear?”, “How many ounces of water does she like to carry on a ride?”, “Does she have a trip computer?” (on a bike, really?), and many others, led the way to a very Personalized buying experience, including a course on how to change a tire, and a two-hour “fitting” appointment to maximize her efficiency on the bicycle.

I think you get the picture.

So then, what does all of that mean when it comes to Personalizing a Funeral Ceremony?  Well, first of all, it means that impeccable service is a baseline, not something extra. Beyond that, it means that unlike Funerals of the past, where the Funeral Director fit every family into the same mold of “How we do things here,” each family is viewed individually.  Each loved one who passes away is seen as an individual life worth remembering in an individual way.  It means giving families permission to be creative and providing tools, choices, and advice to make each ceremony meaningful.

Personalizing a ceremony starts in the Arrangement Conference, when a Funeral Director conducts a Life Review.  Through the use of specialized questions, the family is invited to take their Funeral Professional on a heartfelt journey through the life of their loved-one. All the while, the Funeral Director is thinking, analyzing, and planning options which may be meaningful to the family. Personalizing is about two things – getting people participating and communicating a life story.  Getting there means ideas which may be considered outside of the box. It means asking “Why Not?”

Why couldn’t a softball-lover’s memorial be held on a softball field, with a spouse throwing the first pitch? Why shouldn’t Grandma’s favorite cookie recipe be prepared and a warm, sweet cookie given to everyone who attends the visitation? Why couldn’t we create a video using a family’s treasured photographs?  Why couldn’t we take the casketed remains to Mass in Joe’s candy-apple red Chevy Nomad? Why wouldn’t we conclude a ceremony with driving a golf-ball down the fairway, in memory? Why couldn’t Aunt Sally’s casket spray include cuttings from her prize camellia bushes? Why wouldn’t we have Bob’s Harley-Davidson Heritage Softail parked in the ceremony center for his service and conclude with a memorial ride through the National Forest? Why couldn’t we have a reception in the funeral home’s reception center with Dad’s favorite foods and drinks? Why couldn’t family and friends have access to a memorial web-site where photos, videos, and treasured memories could be shared? Why shouldn’t Grandpa’s Deer and Bass mounts cover the walls of the funeral home in his memory? Why can’t we cast those same family photos into a permanent bronze memorial, to share for eternity?

Well . . . we can . . . and do . . . all of these things. Why? Because personal is meaningful, because no life is exactly the same as another, and because . . . we have just one chance to create the commemoration of a lifetime!

Justin Baxley, President
Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services